(TWSS! - Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Question of the day: I recently wrote a novel and started querying agents in early August. Two of the three I queried requested the manuscript right away, which is great ... except they're taking their sweet time to read it. Any thoughts on how long I should wait before moving on? I don't want to break some agent protocol that I don't know about ... but I'm also excited about this (maybe naively so :) and want to find someone sooner than later. I also want an agent who's super enthusiastic about the book, and taking a month to read it doesn't scream excited to me. But again, maybe I'm being naive. 

Ah, the great agent waiting game. Been there, done that. It sucks. 

But, a month isn’t unusual, unfortunately. It’s actually pretty standard, even though, yeah, it seems like if they want it, they should want it NOW. But I do think the standard window is between four to six weeks, at least that's what agents will tell you. That said, sure, there are plenty who read faster and there are plenty who don't. I'm not sure it's really an indicator of enthusiasm because if they requested a ms from you AND a few dozen other people, they're interested in them all, and they all take time to read.

But – what I’d say, just to keep your nerves calm AND your chances higher – is to keep pitching even while they’re reading. You should probably pitch about ten at a time (even agents tell you this), so you always have a lot of irons in the fire and aren’t banking on anyone in particular. I used to send out a new query as soon as I got any sort of rejection, so the wheel was always turning. Having just three queries out is putting too few eggs in too few baskets. Some writers will literally query hundreds of agents, and again, the good news is that multiple queries is both expected and encouraged.

Also, I do think that after a month or so, you're well-within your rights to follow up with an agent when they've requested materials. I wouldn't follow up if you don't get a reply to your query - I think that's answer enough (though some might disagree, and that's fine too - think it's a personal decision), but since you've already gotten their attention, sure, you can send a polite, quick email to hopefully get an ETA.

Good luck! Anyone else want to chime in here on time frames?

So, just a quick late Friday post, as I'm traveling and might not get a post up on Monday.

Two fun things - first, I did a Q/A over at The Novel Girls blog, which consists of a fabu group of debut novelists...check their blog out regardless of whether or not you want to hear what I have to say. :) But check it out to hear what I have to say on the best and worst things about writing and my advice to new authors.

http://thenovelgirls.blogspot.com/2009/09/novel-girls-welcome-allison-winn-scotch.html

Also, perfect timing: turns out that my agent, Elisabeth Weed, whom you guys know I adore, chimed in on the Guide to Literary Agent's blog, responding to what she liked about my initial query to her and why she signed both me and the book. Check it out here.

Okay, I'm going to wrap up the query week here at AA with an example of a query that I think does just about everything right. It's snappy, it provides enough detail to set it apart, it has a good energy to the writing that I think would interest an agent. If for some reason I DIDN'T post your query here, it's only because a lot of the ones I got in had the same issues as the others I DID post, so I just tried to pick and choose good examples of where people - again, only in my opinion - might go wrong. But I'm hoping that this exercise was helpful to everyone, whether or not your specific query was critiqued.

Okay, so without further ado:

Dear XX, 

Mapleton Falls is a perfect town where perfect families lead perfect lives. At least, that’s what Jenny Sampson thinks when she first moves in. But, four years later when Jenny’s next-door-neighbor, Amanda Brennan, a beautiful, caring, doctor’s wife and mother of two, turns up dead in the entryway of her Georgian-style McMansion, Jenny finds herself muddled in the middle of a murder.

Bree Lang, the Assistant District Attorney, is one of Jenny’s best friends. Lucky for Bree, Jenny’s got the inside scoop on a host of potential suspects. Like Stone Brennan, Amanda’s anesthesiologist husband, who knocks people out for a living and carves manger scenes out of tree trunks with chainsaws for a hobby; or the neighborhood gals Nikki, a raven-haired ex-stripper, and DeeDee, a mother of two sets of twins, who have one gigantic thing, in common: they’ve both slept with Stone. Then there’s Sean Roberts, a member of St. Augustine’s where Amanda’s kids go to school. Sean’s got a crush on Amanda, which his wife’s not too happy about. And, of course, there’s Father Groark – the priest at St. Augustine’s. If only Amanda hadn’t uncovered his secrets and written about them in her journal…

As Jenny, a nice, Jewish girl from Long Island, and Bree, a privileged shiksa from the Main Line, navigate their way around upscale Mapleton Falls, will they be able to solve Amanda's murder? Or will this perfect town be forever marred by a killer in their midst?

MURDER ON TWILIGHT CIRCLE is the first in a series of edgy cozy mysteries where doctor’s wives disappear faster than wrinkle lines on the faces of Hollywood movie stars.

I’m a freelance writer living in the suburbs of Philly where I write articles for the Philadelphia Examiner. I’m a doctor’s wife, mother of two, and slave to six cats. Conferences I've recently attended include the BEA Writer's Conference, the Backspace Writer's Conference, and the Algonkian Pitch and Slam in New York City. I am a member of Mystery Writers of America.

Okay, so today I'm highlighting two queries because I think they both suffer from the same problem, and that is they're simply not interesting enough to garner requests from agents. This isn't a slight on the authors (authors - please don't take it that way!!) because it's not a reflection AT ALL of what your ms might be like. I have no idea what your ms might be like, but from these queries, I'm not sure - IMO - I'd ask to see the ms because, well, there's not enough information to make them distinguishable. When you're writing your queries, remember to be specific! What sets your book apart from the gajillions of others? Why would a publisher want to take a risk on publishing YOU and YOUR WORK if there's nothing unique about it? Let the agent know just what that uniqueness is via your voice, characters and plot, in your letter.

Also, on a side note, I just want to thank everyone for submitting their queries - I think this is a great exercise, and I appreciate that people are game to put themselves out there. If you're reading my comments, PLEASE know that none of my comments are intended to be blunt or mean-spirited - only kind. I just know, though, that sometimes, emotion can be hard to detect on the page, so I just wanted to be sure that the authors knew that! :) <----Insert this little smiley face in your mind after all of the comments after you read them. 

Anyway, per the first paragraph, here's what I mean:

QUERY #3:

Dear Ms. XXX:

I read your profile on Writer’s Digest’s Guide to Literary Agents and thought you might be interested in my exciting YA novel, LIFE IN THE FAST LANE.

Danger lurks around every corner as the protagonist goes on a wild ride through adolescence in my 63,000 word YA/ chick lit crossover novel. Using flashback, the protagonist illustrates exactly how a “good girl” in a small New England town can easily get caught up in the sex, drugs, and rock & roll of the 1980’s. With numerous twists and turns in the plot, she finally finds the right guy, falls madly in love then loses everything. It’s an edgy/racier version of Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen. [OKAY - SO, BEYOND THE VARIOUS ADJECTIVES YOU'VE USED TO DESCRIBE THE BOOK, THERE'S NOTHING DANGEROUS, TWISTY/TURNY OR EDGY ABOUT THIS PARAGRAPH. YOU'RE TELLING ME ABOUT THE BOOK, NOT SHOWING IT TO ME. I SUSPECT THIS IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST MISTAKES THAT ASPIRING-AUTHORS MAKE. AGENTS DON'T WANT TO BE TOLD ABOUT A BOOK, THEY WANT TO READ THE NITTY GRITTY. INSTEAD, TRY "SO-AND-SO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD GIRL ABOUT TOWN. SHE WAS THE HEAD CHEERLEADER, THE A-STUDENT, THE GIRL EVERYONE LIKED TO BRING HOME TO HER PARENTS, UNTIL ONE BAD DECISION CHANGED EVERYTHING. (I'M MAKING THIS UP, BTW, BUT I THINK YOU CAN SEE THE DIFFERENCE.) I'D ALSO GIVE YOURSELF TWO PARAGRAPHS, NOT JUST ONE, TO REALLY DRIVE HOME YOUR DESCRIPTION.]

I’ve been a middle school Health and English teacher for over 16 years. I’m currently seeking my Master’s of Education in Literacy/Language Arts and will be graduating in May 2010. I have taken several writing workshops including 2 from published authors: Hillary Davis’s “Writer’s Boot Camp” and Bruce McMillan’s “Writing and Illustrating Children’s Books” and am close to completing the full 2 year course from Institute of Children’s Literature. This is the first of 4 YA novels I’ve written. Complete manuscript available upon request.

Thank you for your time; I look forward to hearing from you.

QUERY #4:

[NOTE - THIS IS A QUERY FOR A SCREENPLAY, BUT I THINK THE SAME LOGIC CAN APPLY...THOUGH SCREENPLAYS ARE NOT MY AREA OF EXPERTISE, I'M THE FIRST TO ADMIT THAT! :)]

Dear XX,

Kevin Mehler is on a bad streak until he drunkenly declares he would

sell his soul for a better life. After a five million dollar deposit

mysteriously appears in his bank account, Kevin tries to figure out

his place in the afterlife before the devil comes to collect. 

[OKAY, SO AGAIN, IN A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT WAY THAN THE ABOVE QUERY, YOU NEED TO GIVE US MORE INFO. YOU'RE SHOWING, NOT TELLING, SO THAT'S A GOOD START, BUT THIS ISN'T ENOUGH TO SET IT APART FROM THE HUNDREDS/THOUSANDS OF OTHER QUERIES. THIS COULD BE ABOUT ANYTHING, MORE OR LESS. I MEAN, I GET WHAT IT'S ABOUT, AND I THINK IT'S A CUTE CONCEPT, BUT IF THIS WERE A BOOK PITCH - AND MAYBE IT'S DIFFERENT FOR SCREENPLAYS - THIS ISN'T DISTINGUISHING ENOUGH. HOW DOES HE TRY TO FIGURE OUT HIS PLACE IN THE AFTERLIFE? WHY DOES IT MATTER? WHAT'S THE URGENCY? HEIGHTEN THIS...RIGHT NOW, IT'S A CUTE PITCH LINE WITH NOT ENOUGH MEAT. OF COURSE, JUST MY OPINION!]

I have written and produced a number of short films and studied both

writing and video production at Concord University, where I was twice

named Outstanding Student in Television. I am also a published film

critic.

I would like to submit this screenplay for your consideration and can

be contacted as listed below.

Thank you.

Okay, I really like the below query - great story idea that intrigued me - a little Brave New World meets Fight Club, but I think one thing that could be detrimental is the last paragraph (and the author specifically asked me about this, so I'm allowed to comment on it!). As with yesterday, my comments are in CAPS.

Dear Ms. XXXXX,

What would it take to make you a revolutionary?

I am currently seeking representation for my novel, The Offensive - a tale of oppression and rebellion in a politically correct, dystopic United States. I hope you will feel The Offensive,a thriller with a hint of satire,is a good match for your list. [I'D MOVE THIS SENTENCE TO AFTER THE SUMMARY - IT SORT OF THROWS OFF THE MOMENTUM OF YOUR OPENING QUESTION.]

Two generations from now, freedom of speech is a shell of its original intent, government control and corporate greed pervade every aspect of life, and political correctness has evolved to a point where offending someone is illegal. To relieve stress [MAYBE HEIGHTEN THIS A BIT - "AS THEIR ONLY OUTLET FOR SANITY" OR SOMETHING - "RELIEVE STRESS" SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE GOING TO PLAY TENNIS], a group of people
meets in secret ["A COVERT GROUP CONVENE"], simply to insult one another using a list of government-banned words they have discovered. Initially content to enjoytheir private rebellion, the group's leaders are forced to make a difficult decision [HEIGHTEN THE STAKES - "MAKE A DIFFICULT DECISION" IS BREAKING UP WITH A BOYFRIEND - THIS IS LIFE OR DEATH!] when members begin to disappear - one even reappearing, a victim of torture -shouldthey go away quietly or begin their own revolution?

The story follows the group's leaders: Warren Ingram, a scientist bored with a job in which all chemicals are replaced by colored inert liquids in order to avoid an accidental discovery that could elevate one scientist's status above that of another; Corrine Blake, a radio talk-show host whose controversial government-mandated topics like Cats or dogs, which do you prefer? are identical on every station across the nation; and Matthew Carter a businessman thrust into a leadership role when his co-worker is abducted and his homoromantic brother is arrested for assault. At 75,000 words, The Offensive asks the question, What happens when ordinary citizens are forced to become revolutionaries?

I hold a B.A. in English from Trenton State College (now The College of New Jersey) and self-published my first novel, Paranoia, in 2008. I chose to self-publish so I could learn about the publishing industry and the work that goes into promoting a book. It was an invaluable experience. Paranoia was met with great reviews, including 5 out of 5 in plot, characterization, and grammar by Writer's Digest judges in the Writer's Digest Self-Published book awards. I am anxious to take the next step in what I know will be a successful writing career and I hope that your agency can be a big part of that. I thank you, in advance, for your time and look forward to hearing from you. [OKAY, THIS IS THE PART I'D CUT. FOR ONE, NO AGENT CARES ABOUT YOU BEING SELF-PUBLISHED SINCE THERE IS NO BARRIER TO ENTRY AND FOR TWO, IT SHOWS THAT YOU DIDN'T GET AN AGENT TO REPRESENT IT THE LAST TIME AROUND. I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU INCLUDED IT - TO DEMONSTRATE YOUR EXPERIENCE WITHIN THE INDUSTRY, BUT I REALLY THINK THIS DOES YOU MORE HARM THAN GOOD. LIKE IT OR NOT, SELF-PUBLISHING IS JUST NOT HIGHLY LOOKED UPON BY THE UPPER ECHELONS OF PUBLISHING. AGAIN, JUST MY OPINION - ANYONE WANT TO SOUND OFF IN THE COMMENTS SECTION?]