This Is Why You Can't Take It Personally
Monday, December 21, 2009 So I'm back! Yay! Had a great rejuvinating vacation and did some reading on the beach. And had such an interesting experience that reminded me just HOW subjective reading is and why authors really can't take negative reviews personally.
Now, I will never, ever, EVER publicly state that I didn't like a specific book. I know how it feels to read bad reviews, and too many of my friends are authors for me to ever publicly malign someone's effort. But, I did bring a book with me that a few folks had recommended (don't bother guessing - I'll never say - hee!), and read it from start to finish, and while I admired the writing and the voice of the book, I had, like, a visceral reaction to it by the end. Like, I really, really hated it. So much so that I went on Amazon to see if I was out of my mind for disliking it so much, which I never do because I know how loaded (or not, to be fair) those reviews can be.
So my reaction to said book got me thinking: this book has done quite well and gotten a lot of praise. But on an individual level, that really means nothing. Reading is subjective - my experience is never going to be like anyone else's, and if and when I read a terrible review of my own work (or if you read a terrible review of YOURS), I need to remember that. I usually do. Sometimes, though, I wince at someone else's critique. Big time. But just like my books don't work for everyone, this book just didn't work for me. Period. So what? I would hope the author would feel that way - so frigging what? I'm just one reader, that's it. You can't write to please everyone because you're never going to. Write because you enjoy it and because you hope it will resonate with some readers. That's it. If you do that, you can't lose.
Reader Comments (7)
I totally agree... I think it's a good idea to treat books like you treat children. After all the effort and self-discipline and creativity and dreaming that goes into making an idea into a real-life book, it hardly seems worth it to scream aloud "Well, I didn't like it." If it's got this far in the publishing process, chances are that someone, somewhere loves it a whole heap.
I agree. Writing a book is also like working retail; everyone should try it before they start complaining.
As a writer of (amateur) reviews, I hear you, Allison. Even if there are aspects of a book that I didn't care for, I try not to focus too much on those things in the review, and pad it with as many good comments as I can. Of course, I didn't have to do that my TMOL review. It was all good. ;)
And Melissa, thank you so much for that comment! I've worked in retail for 8 years now, held every position from cashier to manager, and I can honestly say that the biggest complainers are the customers who have no clue what we do all day long. Excellent comparison!
I agree. Books that I've read and disliked just pass away. I don't feel the need to warn others off of a book, since they may find something completely different in it. If it's poorly written, with bad mechanics, I'd feel less compunction about it, since that sort of this is objective, not subjective.
If someone were to ask my opinion of a book I didn't like, I'd be honest, but unless there's a specific reason to, I wouldn't be brutal about it.
Not to mention, if you write to please everyone, you'll end up with one bland, boring, waste of ink.
I did have a similar reaction to a book by someone that was seriously lauded by the publishing world. I really, really hated that book. But I never publicly said so. Instead, I prefer to take one I LOVE and buy 20 paperback copies of it to give to friends who I also know will love it. THAT'S how you show what you feel about a book!
Nice post. I guess i'm quite new to criticism of my writing, but even proofreader's feedback can be hard to take at times. But after a while, you do get used to it and like yourself, I keep reminding myself to not take it personally.
I like Cindy's idea, but that could be a very costly exercise of buying 20 paperbacks of one book :)
But having said all of this, some reviews are sure to get under your skin. It would just be a case of being able to turn that into a positive for your next book.