The One That I Want Excerpt
Wednesday, November 4, 2009 Hey guys,
So I just got my butt in gear and posted an excerpt of The One That I Want on the site - here's the link, and you can also find it under the "books" tab. PLEASE know that if you see any mistakes, this is NOT the copy-edited version. For weird reasons that only our industry can explain, copy-editing is done by HAND, not on the computer, so despite the fact that we've made changes and clean-ups to the manuscript, no one - not me, not my editor - actually has a digital version of this. (In fact, copy-edits are made with colored pencils and go back and forth between the author and the copy-editor. I know: so archaic, right? Oh well, I guess the system works.)
Anyhoo, wanted to offer up that disclaimer before anyone read it and emailed me that there are a few errors. :)
Hope you enjoy it! If I do get a cleaner version of it, maybe I'll post the rest of chapter one.
Reader Comments (20)
Allison -- I couldn't read the excerpt on my screen. It cuts off on the right side.
Oh yay, excerpt!! Reading now.
Out of curiosity, you have to get approval from your publishers to post an excerpt of your own book, right?
(Also, random admin note: My comment box just HAPPENS to fall next to your tags that begin with L, and I noticed you've got one post -- http://www.allisonwinn.com/ask-allison/tag/llife-as-a-writer -- mis-tagged as "lLife as a writer".)
Hmmm, Cindy, I'm not sure why - are you on a PC or a Mac? Anyone else having that problem?
Thoughts as I read: Tilly is cute. Annoying in a way, but cute.
Period? HAHA GROSS. And yet, SO real life.
Um, is this sentence missing its ending, or can I not ready today? "“Let’s go,” I say, grabbing my bag from the chipped Formica counter, its innards overflowing with contact names for follow-up calls for college applications and potential after-school job notices because in Westlake."
I love the relationship between Tilly and Susanna. :)
Ok done! Love it so far!
Allison, I'm on a Mac running Firefox and Safari, and I have no problems reading in either browser.
Ooh, thanks Kristan! That WAS a typo on my end - I went through and tried to make some of the changed I'd made during copy-edits and inadvertently hacked that sentence. :)
Tilly gets less annoying in Chapter 2. LOL. I promise!
LOL "can I not ready today"? I can't TYPE, apparently.
I can't wait to read Chapter 2 and find out. ;)
I'm on a Mac and it looks great and reads great. As an aside, I have minor ADHD when it comes to reading novels--it better be good at the first graf or I keep it moving. I read yours to the end. --C
Allison, I like what I've read so far (I'm on a PC and IE 8.0 and it displays perfectly). I know you started this book long before Glee aired on Fox, but I'm getting a little sense of Glee-ness. (Never a bad thing - I love that show!) Especially that comment about germs, which reminded me of Emma, the guidance counselor on Glee. Can't wait to read the rest!
Susan, I was thinking of Emma from Glee too!! I mean, there are *clear* differences (no worries, Allison) but I agree that they are reminiscent in a good way. :)
OK I'm commenting too much, lol...
I've copy-edited before, and I'd much rather do it on hard copy than on the computer.
You miss things, your eyes get sore, there are countless reasons why it's better on hard copy.
Of course, then it's a giant pain in the butt to go through the sheets and make the changes manually.
But loving chapter one! Can't wait for the rest! :D
I love it! I also love that you share my habit of omitting the word "and" when you end a sentence with a list. To me it feels so much more... open that way, you know? A list with "and" feels formal, as if the list truly ends with the final item.
This passage completely drew me in and made me want to read more. And I like Tilly. I love that she admits to loving the prom, that she knows she's kind of pathetic but she embraces her pathetic-ness anyway.
Ok, this is a tiny detail but it bothers me: Polaroid pictures don't "pixilate," because they don't have pixels... sorry, that just took me out of the story world for a second.
Maya - that's so funny. My copy-editor dinged "pixelating" too, but I didn't like the other word she suggested, so I kept it. Maybe I'll go back and amend it in the next round.
Oh my gosh, the GLEE thing didn't even occur to me! I can see how you guys would say that from this small snippet - very much so - but I think when you get to know her, she'll prove much darker than Emma. That said, it's a good comparison, and I love it! :)
Thanks for the feedback, you guys!
Love this! June seems too far away to read the rest..
Is it wrong that I'm only 31 and I totally got those Oklahoma references? Guess all those "movie days" at grandma's finally paid off. Sort of.
Allison, this is great. It looks like a story I can really relate to, and I can't wait to read the rest of it. And, even as I write this at 4:30am, I had to stop because my five year-old woke up calling for me and hacking like a cat with a hairball. I hope Tilly realizes, at some point, that motherhood is 24/7 and might interfere (slightly!) with her plans for the perfect prom.
I noticed some similarities between her and Jillian, specifically, the musings of her tight-bodied former self, and being way too caught up in her profession. If Tilly has a darker side, I'm eager to see it, because she comes across very happy-go-lucky and starry-eyed in this excerpt, or, as she herself referred to it, she has "shiny optimism." As a writer, I know this means you're setting us up for a change, but maybe we could see a subtle hint of her disturbed edge right from the get-go. Swat the spider instead of saving it? I don't know. Just a random (how is it 5am already?) thought.
Again, I really do love it! Can't wait to see more.
On a somewhat related point, I just finished reading TOML a few days ago. Excellent! I was impressed with how you ended it. Not the syrupy sweet ending I was expecting, to be honest. Which is a good thing. I like when an author pleasantly surprises me like that. Thanks for the good read, and consider it highly recommended to my peers.
Happy writing!
~Lydia
Loved it...wait, how long do I have to wait until it comes out??? Another best seller is about to hit the shelves I believe!!! :-}
Allison,
I've been reading your blog for a long time and it's helped me a ton (insider writing tips, etc.) So first, I want to thank you for taking the time to update regularly, which I know must be hard to fit in with writing and being a mom and everything else you do. Most importantly, I LOVED the first chapter . . . wish I didn't have to wait so long to read the whole book. I loved TOML, too.
Nina
It's good. Multi layered from the get go.
Ooooo! We wantssssssss it!
I love this chapter. I hate to admit I haven't yet red TOML but can't wait to dig in. I am a member of She Writes and when Publisher's Weekly came out with their best books of 2009 and none of the top 10 were by women, there was a call to action to go out and buy books by women published in 2009. I cheated, a bought a couple of those and I also bought TOML. I follow your blog and follow you on Twitter (I swear I'm not a stalker), so I already knew I loved your voice. Now I'm motivated to get TOML read and anxiously await TOTIW. I'm in the revision process of my memoir, now on probably third draft, hoping my first paragraph grabs like you suggest. Thanks. BTW, the pixelating comment tripped me up some.